Nintendo Switch 2 Simply Titled “The New Switch,” Nintendo Says It “Doesn’t Matter” Because “You Nerds Are Gonna Buy It Anyway”

Nintendo has taken boldness to new heights with its recent marketing strategy for their next-gen console. After months of rumors swirling around about what the successor to the Nintendo Switch could possibly be called or look like, the company’s latest announcement is a complete shock—not because of the content, but because Nintendo is, frankly, right. We probably are gonna buy it anyway.

In recent months, a number of possible names for the new console have made the rounds on the internet. Suggestions included “The Nintendo Switch: Wahoo,” “Nintendo Switcheroo Number 2,” “Nintendo Super Ultra Mega Monster + Special Edition,” and “Nintendo Wii U 2: Electric Boogaloo.” Honestly, any of these names would have been better than the recently confirmed title: “The New Switch.” Apparently, Nintendo’s sticking with the word “The” in the title, so now we’re all going to have to say “The New Switch” every time we refer to it, like “The Batman.” Which, frankly, is horses**t.

This news has been met with 100% hostility from Nintendo, who immediately responded with violence—threatening to reduce their already strained online network from 2 servers to just 1 if anyone else complained. While aggressive, it sure has gotten people talking. And despite being called "a bunch of nerds," fans are already posting about which pieces of furniture or organs they’d be willing to sell to afford the new console. There’s even a Kickstarter campaign that a fan started to fund Nintendo’s endeavors, ensuring they get enough cash to afford all 66 high-quality animations featured in the Pokémon games.

I guess if the first Switch got people foaming at the mouth this badly, why bother doing anything different? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? 

Source: Trust me, bro.